Sierra and John are two pretty amazing people that love each other a bit and this is their blog. You can contact them by emailing Sierra at sierraelizabeth@mac.com.
On The New Choices.
The reason I wanted a blog together with John was because I wanted readers to see the good and bad of a relationship. The only thing is, John would get mad if I posted anything negative about him. Well I’m going to be honest here: I’m worried that John is just going to go along with this Christian thing just because I’m doing it. I feel like he could go through the motions of it to make me happy but maybe he doesn’t feel a deep desire and purpose nagging within him for this. No, not maybe, I know for a fact he doesn’t feel the same way I do but that’s okay. I can handle that because I don’t expect everyone to believe what I believe or feel the same emotions I feel. I just really wish he felt the same way. I at least know that he’ll respect my decisions and pray/read the bible with me/talk about things/play music with me. He believes in what I believe he’s just lacking the passion for it. Maybe it will come, maybe it won’t. That’s okay… but I still wish we both felt that it was somehow urgent and important. By the way tonight I was tricked by some friends into eating horse radish and I thought I was going to die. Thanks Nancy, for almost kind of killing me but not really since I didn’t even come close to dying at all. Oh and did I fail to mention that John and I aren’t having sex/sexual activities of any kind until the wedding night from this point on? It’s only a month away, it’s not a very long wait. Well maybe it will seem like a long wait for John haha, I don’t know.
Unconscious Affirmation
I had a dream last night that I was getting married to someone. Someone that I didn’t know very well. We were in this line with a bunch of other couples and at the end of the line was someone marrying people. I was fine at the beginning of the line but as I approached closer to the end I began to panic. I looked at this guy and told him not to worry, it was normal for me to be anxious about such a big decision. Then when we got to the end of the line and we were about to get married I turned around and saw John (he was standing behind me with a girl he wanted to marry). I told my guy that I absolutely could not marry him, it wouldn’t make me happy and I didn’t love him. Then I told John that he was the only person I would be happy marrying. He looked relieved and agreed to marry me, leaving his girl and my guy standing around awkwardly. Then I woke up after my 14 hours of sleep. -Posted by Sierra
Dumb
He left tonight. He’ll be in Idaho for the next 7 days. This is
not fun.
I Think I'll Cook Him Dinner Tonight
John is LEAVING AGAIN on Saturday. This time he’s going to Idaho to visit his brother and he’ll be gone for
eight days. I’m too crazy to handle this! -Posted by Sierra
Snapshot
As it neared dusk, I fired up my new grill (which has finally started working perfectly) and made myself a steak. I sat at the glass table on my patio and watched the light wane as I sampled my handiwork. From inside I heard Weezer and Sufjan Stevens playing from my computer. There were no bugs and the air was pleasantly cool. The only sound was the steady rumble of the falls in the river across the sun-warmed street.
Now I am waiting for my fiancee to come home from work so that I can make her some hot dogs. Even though it will be plenty dark when she gets here, I’ll still make her something to eat because I love her. Then I’ll surprise her with some strawberry shortcake that I made while I was waiting for the grill to warm up. Then we can spend the rest of the evening watching movies and playing Wii.
From the moment I turned on the grill I had this incredible feeling of
existing. Not in some dubious spiritual way, but in a way which I only experience once in a great while. I am by no means a busy person, but every now and then when I am trying to slow down by myself, I get a chance to view where I am in life. I happen to love the place and situation I am in now, because I feel a vibrant youthfulness paired with a promise of a good life to come. Given those premeses, who couldn’t feel content?
Tomorrow
Alright, I’ve had enough of this. I miss him and I can’t wait for him to come home tomorrow! I have to work until 5 but thankfully he’ll be home around then. I love love love love love that boy more than anything and tomorrow will be the most sickening and annoying cuddle fest the world has ever seen. And by cuddle fest I mean…. well you get the picture.
Update: I take back the statement that the cuddle fest will be “sickening and annoying” though now that I think about it the neighbors might think so. So I guess what I mean is that I need to stop typing and find another layout for this site because I’m starting to hate this one.
